:: oNly yOu ::
.. -!!sometimes i wish things were like before!!- ..
i spent the whole day thinking. thinking and thinking. about wad much i changed. thinking the people i lost.
then i thought, its life. some people comes into my life for awhile and leave me just like in a second. since pri sch manz, since then i promised myself i must spent most of my life helping others. giving them a helping hand. hand in hand help the poor or those who needs my help. come to think about it. i did nothing. i failed to bring happiness to all. i failed to keep people by my side. but i think again, i didnt put in enough effort. i am not good enough to have everyone by my side. but for one case i am very sure i put in my effort to make sure he feels my care. cos i know what he has been going through. i tried every bit to help him. things got better. we became buddies. but something happen, he changed 36000000 degree change. he forgets who i am. he found someone else perhaps who can give him sometime he wants. though i am terribly hurt but as long he is happy i am happy. but is it fair to me? maybe maybe i have to go through this horrid history again. it happens last time. i was at fault, i didnt voice out my opinion in the end, i turn my unhappiness about them to others. and thus i became a hypocrat to them. i changed i voiced out. now people dun like when i talk or voice out. wad do you want. wad do you guys want. shall i be a mute instead. maybe i'll be really happier. i feel so upset whenever i cant help a friend. its like a stab in my heart, the feelign is just like dying. i vent my anger by punching. thats the only way.
i spend most of my life doing nothing. succeed zero percent of everything. i wanna thank my ex who show me wads the meaning love. though its a short time. but at least i really felt loved. loved that are felt at heart. i tried forget the love i am in now. its tough i am really trying. sometimes it hurts. i can sacrify why not you. i still remember once or twice or thrice i cancelled my dates my appointment to accompany that special someone. my friends were angry, but i wanted to go out with that person. i dun mind sacrifying. but now. . . . . i have no comments. ok i better stop talking about all this before i am back to square one. i was typing testimonials for everyone. esp madeline. i cried. i felt the after a very long time. i wrote a testimonial whole heartedly. i love you sister do you know that. if you do. do you really doooo.
i failed once again. haha maybe i really suck that much. oh well. nights people. i love you all. beany nights. dream of milk k. kuku dream of you know who. as for me, only i know wad i want. ping xi sorry i brought upon you
