:: oNly yOu ::
.. -!!sometimes i wish things were like before!!- ..
bloooooody help manz. wth glen is a crazy whatever i can say. freaking tired, exhausted. my breathing are getting heavier. walking up the hill seems difficult already. what is wrong. fished up, looking at a changed rui jian. a changed fucking everybody. i wanna cry i told myself i cant. i have to stay strong to bring everyone back. for now i seem to be sooo fucking out. i'm so pissed with myself, i'm trying to stand back on my feet, i'm trying to get back with everyone. i'm just fucking different. ok i'm weird. i'm BORING! whatever. i just simply miss myself. yeah i'm keeping everything to myself. i'm a FUCKING hypocrat, it that the defination of hypocrat or whatever. i chose not to think much but you people i dunno k. the way i talk its the same wad with the own clinque. whats with the own wadever. WHY MUST THERE BE AN "OWN" word. where is the old everyone. is there a need for me to get wad i deserve now. i dun mind being not in love. friendship manz. fucking just friendship wads fucking wrong! i'm so pissed now i can just cry. fucking BROKEN class fucking EVERYTHING. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!! if i dun exist will things be better. is being nice and being MYSELF a sin or a crime that i am willing to commit. thought poly will be better than sec school. i totally changed for the benefit of others and myself, wad did i get. willingness to help others. trying to make everyone smile. caring so much for others. sacrifies for others. i did it willingly, i dun expect anything. i just want peace. PEACE and HAPPINESS. that all i asked is that too much. i wanted love i failed that is fine. i just want everyone to be happy united and stuff, is that too much.
being too nice? is that wad you all can say. its in me. MY GENES. i am why i am. i'm not BOOSTING, i'm not HAO LIANING. wads wrong with being nice. a FUCKING CRIME. is there a need manz. you hail for me when you need me. back me off when you dun need me. is this all i want. when i'm sad, who is there. just cos i smiled that means i'm fine. just cos i isolated myself from my class things get so bad? and now everyone is on their own world. with their own jokes. own laughter. OWN wadever. i can be there, did you trust me. TRUST OK. circle of trust. HIDE EVERYTHING, i can SEE through ok, i'm not blind. i kept quiet doesnt mean i know nothing. i just shut up cos you dun want me to know, why will i bother to care, for you refused to tell me something that you dun want me to know but i know. people have diff thinking, diff preference, diff attitude, diff taste, diff personality. so wad they are still human, why must people criticize them. i'm numb towards criticism but not others. spare a thought for other manz people. if you cant spare a thought, just be one of the dust in the surrounding. your existence isnt appreciated. life is just un fair, people who are meant to be appreciated are the dust, while those wadever people are the people on the land.
sorry people for the vulgarities, i'm just pissed. sorry.
i'm here to give happiness and a smile on your face, but do you people believe and trust me. i dun think so. i'm not thinking negatively, its through. out of all my friends, i guess less than 10 perhaps are my through friends. i need not mention who. but you know who you are. for i thank you for believing in me.
