:: oNly yOu ::
.. -!!sometimes i wish things were like before!!- ..
my health seems to get worse. i'm i too paranoid?? or i think too much? i thought i was passing out yest in front of my computer. my head went giddy. everything kept swirling around. i mean quite fun though but hmmmmmms something wrong isn't it? been quite awhile ever since i started have all this thingy. and i get reallly tired very easily. recently i've been doing weird things though, sending people home suddenly out of the blues. i've been slightly punctual for classes. i've been i dunno how to say, somehow really weird. i find all these behaviours reallly weird. i keep thinking about my friends will be in danger. or i'll be worried how come they didnt sms back, are they ok? my god. dawn screwed me when i told her muahahaha. she say i think too much, say i shouldnt be hmmmms i dunno how to say. i saw eileen's mom er in her slp just now. upon approaching her slping area my heart seems to skip a few beats. i sort of fear and panicked but i didnt show it out. suddenly i thought of the sight of my dad. i just kept quiet.
this morning mom suddenly shocked me in my slp. she say she CANT MOVE HER BACK. i cried a little i dunno wad to do. thought i was dreaming but i wasnt. argh. sms ppl for help they dun reply. wth whatever la. she's better now. helped her to message and stuff, at least not as painful already. cannot sms janice cos she's slping. thought audrey woke up already guess i was wrong too. lucky i know how to message manz. went swimming and saw that hunk again. wooot oh my god he's body is WOW!!! ok wadever, the girl beside me withh bikini, with his bf rubbing oil on her. ard me is like couple paradise. suddenly felt sad, thinking where's mine. i slapped myself, and was thinking "who wants you", swam 4 fast lap out of anger and had a cramp AGAIN!!! wth been having cramps. i was scared yesterday, i looked in the mirror and i look purple. i was like so panicked! =( very sad.
i decided not to go for check up le, feel that i'm ok dun want to waste money on such things. i'm beat very tired somehow.
i've been smsing ppl i love them, again no replies. wad a fishing life with no love. i dun expect relationship what i wan it just love. is it that hard. hais maybe i should learn to be selfish somehow. but i cant hais. god i just want ppl to see the way i see them, is being what i am a crime. why isnt ppl reciprocating. i feel so miserable with no aid of helping hand. all i get is helping voice. though is enough but this time i really need a helping hand. if how i treat everyone is like a crime i just commit, i'll pray that they'll meet someone whom they feel happy and joyous. meet someone who see the way i see them. someone whom they trust. someone who love them more than i do. i love everyone i know. but they dun seem to understand. am i just too tough to understand?
