:: oNly yOu ::
.. -!!sometimes i wish things were like before!!- ..
[...still smiling...]
today sickening day. my class reprimanded by two practical teacher. hais. something are like hard to say. so desperate for like things to get better? blog my only way to relieve. sometime i dun like to say like face to face with friends, cos is like i'll cry. noone see me has like ever seen breakdown like shit before except my best friends. yeah. its terrible. i'm really very emotioned sometimes. sianz i'll like cry silently. the week before exams, i actually broke down? at my mom office. i broke down into tears suddenly, my mom didnt saw cos she was busy. den in the car i was pretending to sleep, i was weeping silently. i dunno why i broke down. it just rolled down for some reasons. i kept on encouraging my friends and strangers?? in the end i have forgotten about myself. but i smile laugh joke around everyday. haha yup. smiling brightens up my day. setting beliefs everyday so as to motivate myself to let the beliefs be true and real. but some beliefs just can be true again. can i get back my dad? can i rewind that night again, i Regret ok. i really regret not telling him i love him. i had never say so before!! i never showed that i loved him. i quarreled with himm. i shouted at him before. i disobeyed him. ARGH! i shouldn't have done all this shit! ARGH! he done so much for me yet i only realise now? i LOST HIM! HE IS GONE! he arent going to come back. that very day, i still remember till now. that very day that slapped me awake from my sense. that very day i actually brokedown drastically for the 1st time. just 2 days after our family holiday. 2 DAYS! and he went off. fiak myself for being a fool, an idiot , simply a childish piece of shit. why i just obey him! fiak! he promised to see me grow up with a schlorship in my hands. but he's not going to be there to see me!. ii'm feeling so remorse for not treasuring and loving him.
developed a fear in me.i'm afraid of losing people who are close to me. hais. . . i dunno what to comment on myself
