:: oNly yOu ::
.. -!!sometimes i wish things were like before!!- ..
have i told you lately that i love you?? argh stop @^#&^%(**#&
being in love is sooooo stupid. i tok so fast for wad!! my heart beat was pumping fast. = cant wait for saturday. somehow i want to always hold you, but one day i'll have to let go for i love you just simply tooo much. should i? i dunno i've already lose hope in love. looking at couples makes me wanna just cry!. looking at female and guy couples makes me admire them, cos even same sex they have someone who loves them. dawn been there for me nowadays she showered me with concerns and i'm really wanna thank her. for the worst day of my life she appeared. she supports me though she tells me that liking the same sex is not right. but i told her i really love this person. but well i'll just have to let fate once again do their job. i'm been working hard to get back to her closer, but is she doing the same thing?. makes me feel abit like, i dunno how to say. i'll not give up thats what teresa been telling me. she is in love and the guy loves her too. happy ending. fairy tale begins. but for me? it seems such a long journey i'm tired. i just want to go somewhere far to let my feelings out. i've confessed like wad mei ting say, does she really knows that i loved her seriously, the love that i am showing, does she really knows? first time i ttook so much courage to confess, i wished it was like when we first met, and was soooo close. i missed that. why did zi an appear! argh. then why did i appear. if i dun appear maybe things will be different, will she be happier? am i a burden to her? hmmmmmms, whatever wad done is done now i just have to keep on trying. maybe this will be the last for me. LAST. after this if i fail, its ok =) i wun lift my head to look at anyone. muahahha den i'll refrain from falling in love once again. first time the very first time i think so much. the positive and negative side. but well its life. i miss christine and janice. where are you people, for i need your advice.
wad a day to start. microsoft frontpage presentation. bloody screwed was on the verge to just cry out loud, spitting all the vulgarities out. i spent the whole freaking night sacrifying my hours of sleep to do this frontpage shit and reports. and my hardwork almost just went down to the DRAIN!! my homepage cork up went missing. zhi hui helped me we are like try so hard to do all the thingS!!! and its gone. homepage its my sweat manz. the flash the design GONE!! i PANICKed like noone's business!!! and i couldnt finish my reports. i didnt do tutorial!!! and i dun understand!! sians. gosh a bad day indeed, i saw everyone that i know except her. is this fated or what. i wun give up. i wun i'll wait. and i will. i feel so i dunno. i begin to feel the urge to give up this course that i love and leave this place. as far as i can go! somewhere people who SHOWS that they love. in my class it became hatred all because of kim hock. ALL because of him. bloody idiot cant he just shut his big mouth and stop his BIG ego eego ego eggggggggo attitude. he is freaking SMART so his attitude sucks. he makes us feeel stupid! freaking stupid k. and i hate it! slap his face or whatever. bloody ugly guy say i'm ugly. i'll never forget that. idiot i dun think i'm uglier than his ex. idiot. damn pissed!! ARGH. show up attitude. act smart attitude. come one you say you feel left out please ok change your attitude. his attitude getting worse and i hate people who smokes and he know i hate it. and he walks beside me. YUCKs!!!.
feeling better after i called audrey. but she's having lesson so yeap nevermind ba! =. in class so many people attached or in love. i had nothing. no love. no attachment. nothing. feel so lonely. wanted to love someone but hmmmmms let things goes slowly. i loved everyone hardly get wad i gave back. is this all i deserved. fuck k. fuck ME! Argh. damn pissed today. my willing-ness becomes my enemy. where's my angel. i thought i found one. now this angel whom i think seems too busy i worried for this angel more than she worry for me, not replying sms, diff time table etc hais. fated. its destinated. and i'll accept it. once again =) back to my turtle shell to hide and heal, now i dare not loook at anyone i fear falling in love again.
