:: oNly yOu ::
.. -!!sometimes i wish things were like before!!- ..
are you acting? or you're just simply dun care. when i need you, you aren't there. you claim you will. i cried over you. you took my soul away you dun even care. i want to give you up. but i just cant do it. i love you more than anything i know. but you dun seem to care. i pray every night the best for you. who knows only me. but cant you feel it. how miserable my life can i be. loving someone impossible yearning for miracles to take place. when there a pray, there's a hope for a miracle. but i didnt pray to have you. i prayed for you to have the best. i prayed for you to have someone who love you just as much as i do. someone who can always make you smile. and always give you what you yearn for, a fairy tale. i pray this person see you the way i see you. pray that everything will turn out fine for you.
and i pray that i'll forget you for i'm in a hurting, impossible love. though i love you so much, you never seem to realise. my heart is filled with holes for every time i see frown or upset. a stab was given to me. i pray that i'll never fall in love again, for i'm really hurt. it takes forever to heal. wanted you to be there on mon, to see me perform for the media and reporters. its delicated to you, but you cant come its ok. in my heart its all out for you. hope i wun screw it cos its for you. my last delication to you. hope you could feel it somehow. hope happiness is always with you. thats my last wish . and my last words, i love this person alot. but its plain fate and destiny that all this happens. for my delication to you its on sat. it may appear on news. do watch its for you. hope i play well. love you my impoosible love
my health seems to get worse. i'm i too paranoid?? or i think too much? i thought i was passing out yest in front of my computer. my head went giddy. everything kept swirling around. i mean quite fun though but hmmmmmms something wrong isn't it? been quite awhile ever since i started have all this thingy. and i get reallly tired very easily. recently i've been doing weird things though, sending people home suddenly out of the blues. i've been slightly punctual for classes. i've been i dunno how to say, somehow really weird. i find all these behaviours reallly weird. i keep thinking about my friends will be in danger. or i'll be worried how come they didnt sms back, are they ok? my god. dawn screwed me when i told her muahahaha. she say i think too much, say i shouldnt be hmmmms i dunno how to say. i saw eileen's mom er in her slp just now. upon approaching her slping area my heart seems to skip a few beats. i sort of fear and panicked but i didnt show it out. suddenly i thought of the sight of my dad. i just kept quiet.
this morning mom suddenly shocked me in my slp. she say she CANT MOVE HER BACK. i cried a little i dunno wad to do. thought i was dreaming but i wasnt. argh. sms ppl for help they dun reply. wth whatever la. she's better now. helped her to message and stuff, at least not as painful already. cannot sms janice cos she's slping. thought audrey woke up already guess i was wrong too. lucky i know how to message manz. went swimming and saw that hunk again. wooot oh my god he's body is WOW!!! ok wadever, the girl beside me withh bikini, with his bf rubbing oil on her. ard me is like couple paradise. suddenly felt sad, thinking where's mine. i slapped myself, and was thinking "who wants you", swam 4 fast lap out of anger and had a cramp AGAIN!!! wth been having cramps. i was scared yesterday, i looked in the mirror and i look purple. i was like so panicked! =( very sad.
i decided not to go for check up le, feel that i'm ok dun want to waste money on such things. i'm beat very tired somehow.
i've been smsing ppl i love them, again no replies. wad a fishing life with no love. i dun expect relationship what i wan it just love. is it that hard. hais maybe i should learn to be selfish somehow. but i cant hais. god i just want ppl to see the way i see them, is being what i am a crime. why isnt ppl reciprocating. i feel so miserable with no aid of helping hand. all i get is helping voice. though is enough but this time i really need a helping hand. if how i treat everyone is like a crime i just commit, i'll pray that they'll meet someone whom they feel happy and joyous. meet someone who see the way i see them. someone whom they trust. someone who love them more than i do. i love everyone i know. but they dun seem to understand. am i just too tough to understand?
