:: oNly yOu ::
.. -!!sometimes i wish things were like before!!- ..
ar. felt useless cos i couldnt help janice much. i feel so stupid. hais. she cried but i couldnt be there to hug here and cool her down. i feel so hopeless and helpless. felt that i'm not a good friends afteralll. AR!! i need a guy. i really need. i'm patiently waiting! but still i refuse to change to be a girl! i hate being a girl! ar! do i have to be a PROPER girl to have a bf? or wad?. hais is physical look that they're looking for. looking around me, my friends one by one are having one. jealousy just arises. i wanna be loved. i'll wait. but i lack of it now. i cant find a single person that i can really tell in poly. i feel like telling but i fear that i disturbed them. i think its better to keep it to myself. and scream when i'm at home. breakdown when i'm in the toilet. dream when i'm sleeping. i dream i can ran and i want to be strong. but friction and resistance from all over are pulling me down. my morale are low, after mei ting told me pei yi improved. hais i really wanna cry le. i'm going to practise real hard. i need to improve. i'm still at the same level! struggling!. things got worse after i realised that i fall in love with joseph. stupid yi hui, he cant be yours. he will never like you. never even think or DREAM about liking you. you're nothing but ugly. yeah i'm ugly. ok i'm ugly. stop teasing me people abt me n joseph. i'm ugly. hais
problematicsensationmadness
