:: oNly yOu ::
.. -!!sometimes i wish things were like before!!- ..
happy? this word seems to be fading away from my dictionary. the smiley happy me is fading away. yup i'm smiling i'm laughing i'm giggling thats the outside not the inside. i just want everyone to be happy. yup. hais i broke down almost everyday. i have no idea wad is going on to me. stress over studies? or love?. really want janice jiahui audrey sisi and christine to know how much i love them. how much i really hope we can be like this for life. LIFE! i hate to see people who is life this close to me to leave me. though i have tons of experiences of such leaving from me feeling. but i really dun like it. some say i'm stupid, kept telling me why so stupid to love them so much. i just ignore them. they dunno how i feel and why i did all this so why talk so much to them. such friends are nOt my real friends. pass few months in poly made me think alot. someone gave me love that i was never given before. however, thats the past, all my fault. stupidity killls. and it really did. hais talk to sisi just now. actually broke down. i was really demoralise this past few weeks. hais. wasnt really in a mood for anything. life still have to go on. endure to the sarcastic and hurtful words from my mom. keep forcing me to wear skirt i dun look nice in those. i'm suppose to wear things i am comfortable with and not clothes she thinks i look or feel comfortable with. i already give in by buying a little girly stuff clothes and now skirt. i mean i need time. TIME!! hais. i love her but hais why she must force me. i hate being forced i'll break down cos i cant take it!. i'm weak on these stuffs. exams have started, struggling wish i can study with someone whom i'm comfortable with everyday. yeap. hais LENDL idiot damn noisy cant stand it. hais i told him to shut up when we're studying already and hais! whatever.
feeling happy for audrey has someone who loves her. zi an right? hmmmmmms yeap hope he gives her happiness. yeap hais. i'm numb towards love. love seems nice yet freaking far away. wads the point. audrey is lucky. she is gorgeous pretty cute and her character really shocked me. she is one great person that i have never dream to have met. she is really caring concern kind helpful cheerful. wonder if she is happier now. hais some confessions have been done but wo dui bu qi ta. hais. period of time i avoided her for i know someone loves her. felt that its better for her. cried bitterly inside. but i just wan the best for her. well she doesn't know this. think she even forgets my blog add?. cried like crazy never cried soo much before. reading letters she gave to me. chocolates she gave which i didnt even try eating it. and the memories she gave. she opens up every chapters of my life. well hais. just hope she has the happiness she always dread for. though i **** her but this is the best for her. hais. wth
hope janice will do really well for her A's she work really hard. she's going to leave for AUs if she doesnt do well. but i know she can do it. she rocks manz. she is the one who made me feel wads real friendship and buddy-ship. really wanna thank her!!!
